This is my favorite song of the moment. It spoke to me when I was on the cusp of deliverance. That time before God restored me to His bosom. I’d lived outside of God’s shelter for quite some time. I was filled with self-loathing and despair. I was suffering from several physical ailments and it seemed that everything was against me. Of course the devil took advantage of my dismal state and whispered lies into my ears, “You’ve been away too long, no on loves you, it’s too late now, you’re always going to be a failure, always sick.” I didn’t know that God was already moving in my heart. Because you see, I had a desire to return but the trick of the enemy is to cause a person to be discouraged, then to gradually separate him/her from those who will encourage them, get them alone and then prophesy lies into their lives. Before the person knows it, they’ve drifted away from God. This is what happened to me. But God! Oh He is a strong deliverer and a forgiver of sin.
So when I hear this song now, it reaffirms the need to trust God. For surely if He is not trustworthy, who is?
A verse from this song that spoke to me in particular:
everything that i see
tells me not to believe
but i’ll trust you Lord
You have never failed me
my past still controls me
will this hurt ever leave?
i can only trust you
You see that part of the verse that says, “my past still controls me, will this hurt ever leave?” That was me a month ago. A month ago! It boggles the mind. Yes, my past controlled me but no more. God came and fought for me, delivered me and set me free. Free from my past, free from my sins, free from the demons that plagued my mind since childhood! Dear God! When He delivers, honey He delivers! There is no one like Him. Not anywhere at no time has there been anyone like my God. Oh, I feel like shouting! And laughing. Because He’ll make you laugh, oh yes He will. You’ll think of the devil and all his imps, getting together and scratching their heads saying, “How did she get away?!” Can’t you just see it? I can. Glory to God on high, my God came and rescued me. The devil had me locked in the cage of my mind, set a watch over me – the demon of self hate. But GOD! He marched into the enemy’s camp (He didn’t sneak in honey), strode up to ole satan and demanded my release. I can just hear the words, “You’ve held her for too long Satan, Let my daughter go!”
Satan of course didn’t want to let me go but honey when God commands, who can with stand HIM?! And you know what dear saints, who the Son sets free is free INDEED! There’s no devil who can hold me now, no never again. Cause you see, God is so good that He can even use a backslider’s testimony to declare His glory! Recovery is my testimony now, Victory is my testimony and I can answer the question. Yes! I Trust him.
***UPDATE*** It’s my one year anniversary of freedom tomorrow and guess what saints of God? I still trust Him!!